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THE NEW BREXIT DICTIONARY©

Full Integration of these words and phrases into the English Language has yet to be achieved. Use them only where you are dealing with intelligent people who are not reliant on a dictionary to spell their own name.

Word Context
Example
OPPORTUNITY Totally redefined

New Meaning - Given a complete miracle, there may still be a way of climbing out of this pile of shit in which we have landed ourselves..

BREXICORN n

Latin. Fatuus Brexicornus

Animal
Brexit version of the Unicorn promised as a reward to Brexiteers by Vote Leave. Unlike the normal Unicorn it has two horns, one on each side of the forehead. Farmers who have inspected the animal deny that it's a new species and say that its actually what they know as a cow.
 
BREXITERRORIST. n Classification
Any foreigner seen exiting a primary school in a suspicious manner. Can also be used to describe any UK resident who has spent more than one week on holiday in an EU state where the sun shines.
 
BREXITHOSE n. Dress
Ill fitting garment beloved of Prime Ministers. Usually made of leather and costing around £500 a leg or £600 a leg if you wish to have two legs that match. In order to demonstrate her affinity with the JAMs, Mayssolini settled for for the £500 a leg version, a fact picked up by Vicki Morgan. It should be noted that normally Mayssolini and her husband buy all her clothes from the charity shop in the Carribean when he visits to service his off-shore accounts.  These are Tenna Lady compatible and, most importantly, claimable from Parliamentary Expenses.

BREXITOME noun

Cock-Up
Hand written document carried by a minion declaring government policy to the world at large but denied to Member's of Parliament.
 

BREXITOMIC noun

Cock-up consequence
Atmosphere in Mayssolini's office when she discovered that somehow one of her dimwit ministers had succeeded in getting his/her hands on a pen and some paper
 

BREXIGASM  noun

Experience
One off feeling by the serial failures Johnson, Davis and Fox when they realised that they had an incompetent PM and they were going to get yet another chance to screw up a government department.
 

BREXIPOLITAN noun

 
Extreme nationalist Brexit politician who believes that North Korea is an all-embracing open society.
 

BREXITOSSER noun

Identifier
Description used for the gaffe making Brexit team. As in: "Before the referendum he was just a tosser, now he's a Brexitosser"!
 
BREXITORT Legal
Grounds for Civil Action under Brexit Law. Specified offences cover such acts as declaring Britain's government to be incompetent, identifying Boris Johnson as a knuckledragging clowns and being honest about the competence of Fox and Davis.
 
BREXITORTE Legal
Actionable deed entered into whilst having one's cake and eating it.
 
BREXITROLL Social Media Term
Brexiteer who visits Remain Facebook pages making a case for leaving the EU. Mostly confined to statements like: "You Remainers F... Off"  or if the troll is a member a member of the Mayssolini government : "You Remainers F Off, you're spoiling our Party". Not to be confused with the next word:
 
BREXIT-ROLL Food
Subway offering that used to be known as 'The EU special'. It came with a filling of meat and salad, cost £1 and was made in a fully hygienic kitchen. The new "Brexit-roll' is made using British Margarine instead of butter and has no filling. Its made in Bill's bathroom before he come to work. It costs £2.
 
BREXITENT n.  
Latest category to be added to allowable item in calculating the number of new accommodation units against the promises made by the Brexit government. Reduces the scale of failure.
 
BREXITENTIOUS adj.  
Classification of statement made by the Brexit team e.g. "We have concluded an enormous trade deal with India" when the questioner knows that they bought two Balti's in the Taj Mahal in Tottenham Court Road that they paid for on Parliamentary expenses after agreeing with the owner that he would give them a bill for £250 each and they would give him a £10 tip.
 
BREXITORPOR Condition
State of mind of a Breixiteer who sits at home so as not to be out when his share of the rewards offered on the big red bus are delivered. See next word
 
BREXITRIGOR Condition
The eventual and inevitable consequence of BREXITORPOR.
 

BREXITAUNTER noun

Identifier
Descriptive of Vikki Morgan who was fed up with sticking pins in an effige of Mayssolini and now goes for the real thing.
 
BREXIMATHICIAN noun  
 

Someone creative with maths such as Theresa May who describes a vote by 29% of the British electorate as "The Majority of the British People".

BREXITOSIS Noun

Political Bad Breath
Sufferers will normally be wearing a badge with a 'Vote Leave' logo and in intelligent company will be seated in a corner alone. There is a cure, but to secure it requires being able to read the instructions on the bottle so it's not widely used.
 

BREXITERRITORY noun

 
Sacred lands separated from mainland Europe by the North Sea and several million Bigots.
 

BREXITHEIMERS syndrome

Advanced Nervous Disorder
Only affects Quitters - Onset usually trigerred when the patient realises that 'Sovereignty' and "Regain Control' are meaningless but expensive concepts.
 
BREXITORATORY Rhetoric
Strident speech by Eurosceptic Politician. Anything that gets past the teeth is almost certainly false.
 
BREXITANIC adj. Disasterous
Recognition of Brexit as the worst disaster since 1912
 

BREXIQUISITION verb

Interrogation
As in Spanish Brexiquisition. Use of torture in an attempt to force an educated person to identify something about Brexit that is not Brexitanic.
 

BREXITONIC noun

Potion
Strong medicine prescribed for Quitters to give temporary relief from reality. First prescribed at polling booths on 23rd June 2106
 
BREXISTERIA noun Medical Condition
Mental state reached by two Quitters trying to console each other that the death of the nation is not their fault.
 
BREXICLYSMIC noun  
Violent political upheaval built into giovernment strategy to deflect attention from failure. Now frequently used.
 
BREXATIOUS adj Excuse
How Theresa May describes questions she is unable to answer. Which is most questions when the answers are not being piped into her ear.
 
BREXILLUSION noun False Statement
Usually written on the side of a bus such as "we send £350 millions each week to the EU". Also applied to Mayssolini JAMs who actually believe that despite losing £873 a year at the first mini budget , Mayssolini is improving their lives.
 
BREXALATE verb Medical
Sudden and uncontrollable release of air from one's mouth when Boris Johnson says something that is not at the same time stupid or untrue. Untested to date.
 
BREXIMATION noun Condition
Elation experienced by a Quitter when he spends a £1 and gets back 50p but has achieved a better return than normal or than was expected.
 
BREXITERMINAL adj Medical
Describes the prognosis for anyone who has invested money on the expectation of Brexit being successful.
 
BREXITINITUS noun Medical Condition
Results in loss of sleep for Quitters because of the words "I am an idiot" constantly ringing in their ears. Not to be confused with 'initus' which is the frequent response when two Quitters are asked to identify the idiots in a group.
 
BREXITELLOSIS noun Medical
Usually confined to animals but spreads to Quitters through consistent end consumption of bullshit.
 
BREXICURSION verb Futile Journey
Journey of the type undertaken by May, Fox, Davis and Johnson at which they are told in round terms to "sod off" which, on return, is translated into "They are keen to sign a trade deal"
 
BREXITEER noun Historical reference
21st Century version of a Privateer. Viz. A pirate operating with the consent of a Tory Government who is licensed to steal from the public or foreigners. Davis, Johnson and Fox have already received licenses but are incompetent, even as thieves.
 
BREXICITY noun Location
An area of London where trade will continue to make a significant contribution to Britain's GDP until we leave the EU
 

BREXICOLIC

noun

 
 

Nasty stomach condition suffered by a Brexit Politician when he discovers that despited sucking up to Mayssolini he has still been passed over for promotion and will be milk monitor for another Parliament.

BREXICOLOGIST noun Salutation
A quitter who attended school and achieved basic literacy.
 
BREXITOATH  
Oath being introduced by goverment requiring citizens to swear allegiance. Similar to the oath taken by SS troops in Nazi Germany but it is so far not certain whether the authenticating tattoo number will be paid for by government or the individual.
BREXISAURUS REX noun Historic
A Quitter who believes that before Britain joined the EU it was a successful and prosperous society.
 
BREXICITEMENT noun Emotion
The moment when a Quitter wets him/herself on hearing very rare good news.
 
BREXIPRESSION noun Medical
Frequent depression suffered by Quitters when they realise that the article they read in the Express, Mail, Sun or Telegraph is not the monthly article that is actually true.
 
BREXITRUSION noun Offence
Crime defined by the government involving a non-white continental putting a foot on British Soil.
 
BREXITOXIN noun Medical
Emissions from the mouths of Johnson, Fox or Davis
 
FOX  
A Quitter trained by Britain to dispense honest medicine who instead dispenses toxic poison.
 
BREXITUSQUEUE noun US Line
The queue we are told to go to the back of when seeking trade deals with the USA
 
BREXIFUSION noun Medical
The state generated when anyone attempts to have an intelligent conversation with Boris Johnson.
 
BREXISTENCE noun Level
The lowest subsistence level at which anyone brought up in the prosperity of the EU can be expected to survive. This could be avoided until 2020.
 
BREXISTENTIALISM noun Decree
Decree passed by the Tory government to prevent any form of existentialism.
 
BREXIMONY noun Financial
The Ransom paid to the EU post-Brexit for fewer facilities than we secured for a lower price whilst in the EU
 
BREXYTIER noun  
A brexiteer who has not yet mastered the spelling. As in: Yesterday I couldn't even spell Brexytier, now I is one.
 
BREXISOGONIST noun  
 

Hater of immigrant females who have babies at the local hospital instead of using the local bus shelter.

BREXOPTROMOTRYST noun  
A brexiteer who issues white sticks and rose tinted spectacles to doubter Brexiteers with whom he is having an affair.
 
BREXIBO noun  
Description of any speech made by Boris Johnson or his inner mafia soldiers. Shortened version of the Latin term: Brexibollocks.
 
BREXILLARY noun Military
Generic term for a thug encouraged onto the streets by Farage, Johnson, Gove or their cohort to threaten citizens and commit the occasional murder.
 
BREXITOLICISM noun Religion
Religious order now followed by Brexiteers (and Brexyteers). St Michael, St Boris and St Theresa have elevated themselves to Sainthood to lead the blind.
 
BREXITORY noun Political
Descriptive of those who are prepared to endure and inflict the poverty, deprivation and social disadvantage on themselves and others in order to support a Tory wealth extension that they don't understand or truly believe in.
 
BREXITORTION noun  
Money taken from the poor to give to the rich in order to ensure that the country 'works for everyone'
 
BREXITORIUM noun  
Functional building where Brexiteer funtionaries are burned at the stake after being subjected to BREXIQUISITION at a port of entry. The condemning question will be "did you manage to secure a trade deal"? "I was told to F Off" will be met by a quick trip to the BREXITORIUM.

Currently under construction. Will be in operation 24/7, excepting Christmas day, from the triggering of A50.

BREXITUTION  
Legal Penalty suffered by those securing only a small trade deal i.e. Fewer than ten pots of Jam taken from the Jams. Can be commuted to life for those consenting to lifetime transplant of a Boris Johnson personality and haircut.